Wednesday, December 15, 2010

My baby is a Big Boy Now!

 OMG!  I haven't had two seconds to sit down and write about what's been happening!    I talked with a few people about it but I really can't get into details.  We were evacuated from our home several weeks ago!  We're home now but it has been a HUGE mess!  Everything is starting to settle down but OMG was it hard living in a, child unfriendly suite, for three weeks with two kids with ADHD and one with SPD!

I seriously thought that my head was going to POP off! 

We spent Thanksgiving and my older son Charlie's birthday there.  Our therapists were just simply amazing.  They went right along with us to make sure Lucas had his therapy everyday!  They brought gifts and treats over to us so that we felt like we were home!   AWE! I'm so lucky to have these ladies!

I'm so SAD right now.  Lucas will be three on the 18th and his therapy will stop tomorrow on the 16th.  I've grown to love these woman like they are family.  When you have a special needs child you seem to loose MANY if not all of your friends!  I think its easier for them to not look and turn away from something that they believe isn't pretty to look at!  As their Mother its the complete opposite.  I have been filled with guilt that would kill someone for not giving my older son the attention that he deserved over the last three years caring for Lucas.   It always seems just as I sit to give Charlie the one on one that he needs Lucas is jumping off of the table onto his head and needs my immediate attention and Charlie is sitting again, waiting for Mommy to give him the attention and care that he needs!

I started this blog because I had to have contact with the outside world.  If I didn't I would have gone mad!  These ladies were the only people that I could call friends for the last two years!   They understand how difficult it is to get out sometimes and they were always here.   If they saw we were having a bad week they would take the time to make sure Mommy was alright before working with Lucas!  They have been present when I felt like had no one else in my life to turn to!

I have been crying for weeks just thinking of how my life is about to change!   We have been to countless appointments with the new school he will be attending, specialists appointments to have the proper documentation down and all while being away from home has taken its toll!

My baby is a Big Boy Now!  On January 3rd he will go to a meet and greet at his new school to meet his new teachers and new therapists that will take over, and all of his new classmates!  Wiping tears again!  I just can't believe how fast life goes by.  I know that Lucas needs this!  He absolutely must be in an environment where he will continue to grow so that his disabilities do not hinder his abilities later on in life!  My heart breaks at the thought of him carrying this big backpack on his shoulders and climbing onto this little bus all alone!   I so desperately wanted him to be able to communicate with me before sending him all alone but know that he needs the independence of "doing all by himself".  I can't even imagine the torture that Mary went through with watching her son walk to his death, if I'm this distraught over sending my baby on a school bus!

I knew these days were going to be hard, I just didn't think it would affect me as hard as it has!

This is our journey!  The good, bad, happy, sad,  and mad!  I feel so blessed that I have the ability to reach out to the world through this blog.  I've met so many wonderful people on here who have given me the lift that I needed to get through the day when I really needed a push! 

As always thanks for being there and following our journey with Lucas.

3 Responses to "My baby is a Big Boy Now!"

Lisa Says :
December 15, 2010 at 5:19 PM

Oh, Debbie, I'm overwhelmed just reading about what you've been going through living away from home with your boys who rely on their routines. I'll definitely be keeping you in my prayers that all goes well with Lucas starting at his new school. The Lord will get you through all this.

Lisa xoxo

missykade Says :
December 15, 2010 at 10:41 PM

Thank you for the prayers Lisa!

Life just seems to give you that sucker punch that knocks the wind out of you every once in a while and it just takes a while to get the wind back! LOL

Nancye Says :
December 26, 2010 at 11:14 AM

January 3rd will definitely be a big day for both you and Lucas. It will be an emotional day for all of you. Just remember this, you are allowed to cry! Let it all out! Don't try to stuff it in. Put Lucas on the bus and then have a good cry. Then drink some coffee and move on. That's not to say you won't cry the next day, or the next day, or even 7 months from now. Allow yourself to go through these feelings.

I do understand a little of what yo are going thru because my daughter had early intervention for gross motor and speech delay. It was SO hard to say goodbye to her therapists and send her to "big school" but it was the best thing for her. My advice to you is to become involved at Lucas's school, get to know his teachers, ask lots of questions, and most of all--allow Lucas to spread his wings!

Granted Lucas and my daughter have different special needs, but one thing I can tell you is that school has been the BEST thing for my daughter! She is now 7 years old and is doing great!! To look at her now you would have no idea of her past struggles. She loves school and learning and being with her friends! School was what she needed to further her growth and independence.

I am sorry this has been so long! I hope I haven't spoke out of turn, or anything like that. I just had to let you know that you are not alone and that if you need an ear to listen or someone to talk to, I'll be there for you!


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