I am SO proud of my little man!!!!!!!   It's been a crazy week.   Lucas started school last week.  I think Mommy had more of an adjustment to make than Lucas did! LOL   I swear I thought my whole world was turned inside out, upside down, and simply all around!  It took about a week for me to come back to earth!

I was so worried for months that Lucas (more like I) was going to be a MESS when he finally had to start school.  I mean he's only three for goodness sakes!  How is he going to make it without his Mommy for 2 whole hours?  How will he go onto a bus alone without his Mama?! 

To my surprise all of my fears were shot down from day one!  LOL   He went to his meet and greet on Tuesday and LOVED IT!    He went right up to the coordinator grabbed her hand and walked happily to class.  Once there he started right in with playing as if he were there for years! LOL

I can't tell you how many nights I did not sleep for this!

Wednesday was the next hurdle!  He would ride the little school bus for the very first time!   We waited outside and kept saying that the little "Bertie the Bus" ( from Thomas the Tank Engine) would be there to get him any minute!  Just as we finished saying that, a bus that looked like a train, came rolling around the corner!  This bus was bigger than my 5th graders bus! LOL  I thought for sure he was going to freak out now!  This bus is HUGE!  It seriously looked like a freight truck!  Again to our surprise he climbed right on and didn't shed one tear!   

Here is my Special little man with all of his disabilities and he was the strongest little man in the world to me at that moment!   I was never so proud in my life! 


He LOVES his new teachers and he loves going to school!   Over the weekend he made a sad face and asked "A Kool Goed?"  He missed going to school this weekend so bad!  I am SOOOOOO happy that he had an easy transition from home to school and that he really likes it!

We woke up bright and early today ready to go to school.  All smiles and happy to go!

I am usually so upset when I can't get on to post but my place this week was with my little man!   I'll never get this time back and just can't believe how fast our time has gone!  

Congratulations on doing such a great job going to school for the very first time Lucas!  Mommy is so very proud of you!

We have LOTS of great reviews/giveaways coming!    We also have some big plans to focus on special needs with guest posters.   We're getting them lined up now. Great things are coming!   Keep a look out for more information coming soon.

 OMG!  I haven't had two seconds to sit down and write about what's been happening!    I talked with a few people about it but I really can't get into details.  We were evacuated from our home several weeks ago!  We're home now but it has been a HUGE mess!  Everything is starting to settle down but OMG was it hard living in a, child unfriendly suite, for three weeks with two kids with ADHD and one with SPD!

We spent Thanksgiving and my older son Charlie's birthday there.  Our therapists were just simply amazing.  They went right along with us to make sure Lucas had his therapy everyday!  They brought gifts and treats over to us so that we felt like we were home!   AWE! I'm so lucky to have these ladies!

I'm so SAD right now.  Lucas will be three on the 18th and his therapy will stop tomorrow on the 16th.  I've grown to love these woman like they are family.  When you have a special needs child you seem to loose MANY if not all of your friends!  I think its easier for them to not look and turn away from something that they believe isn't pretty to look at!  As their Mother its the complete opposite.  I have been filled with guilt that would kill someone for not giving my older son the attention that he deserved over the last three years caring for Lucas.   It always seems just as I sit to give Charlie the one on one that he needs Lucas is jumping off of the table onto his head and needs my immediate attention and Charlie is sitting again, waiting for Mommy to give him the attention and care that he needs!

I started this blog because I had to have contact with the outside world.  If I didn't I would have gone mad!  These ladies were the only people that I could call friends for the last two years!   They understand how difficult it is to get out sometimes and they were always here.   If they saw we were having a bad week they would take the time to make sure Mommy was alright before working with Lucas!  They have been present when I felt like had no one else in my life to turn to!

I have been crying for weeks just thinking of how my life is about to change!   We have been to countless appointments with the new school he will be attending, specialists appointments to have the proper documentation down and all while being away from home has taken its toll!

My baby is a Big Boy Now!  On January 3rd he will go to a meet and greet at his new school to meet his new teachers and new therapists that will take over, and all of his new classmates!  Wiping tears again!  I just can't believe how fast life goes by.  I know that Lucas needs this!  He absolutely must be in an environment where he will continue to grow so that his disabilities do not hinder his abilities later on in life!  My heart breaks at the thought of him carrying this big backpack on his shoulders and climbing onto this little bus all alone!   I so desperately wanted him to be able to communicate with me before sending him all alone but know that he needs the independence of "doing all by himself".  I can't even imagine the torture that Mary went through with watching her son walk to his death, if I'm this distraught over sending my baby on a school bus!

I knew these days were going to be hard, I just didn't think it would affect me as hard as it has!

This is our journey!  The good, bad, happy, sad,  and mad!  I feel so blessed that I have the ability to reach out to the world through this blog.  I've met so many wonderful people on here who have given me the lift that I needed to get through the day when I really needed a push! 

As always thanks for being there and following our journey with Lucas.

OMG!  I had to come on and share about our day today!  Thank you for all of the supportive emails and comments : ) 

Lucas LOVES school!   I mean it!  He cried for over an hour when we had to leave, he kept saying "GO DARE", "GO DARE"!  I was over the moon with how happy he was there!  We have a lot to do before January, many appointments, meetings, etc.  I just feel so fortunate to be in a place that has so much for kids who need a little extra care : )

All of my fears were completely put to rest today and now its anticipation about Lucas's new found adventure!  I think the unknown is always a scary place to be and now that I know how wonderful this school is I have such a feeling of excitement for him!

I feel so fortunate to be in a place in time that I can share and read about other parents journeys.  I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for so many parents who couldn't reach out and talk with other parents and the ability to meet new friends who completely GET what They are going through!

Thank you to all of my new friends who get me through some of my rough days!

We have our evaluation meeting at school today : (

We will find out what specialists Lucas needs when he starts school in January! : (

I'm sad and happy at the same time!  I know its going to help him SO much but I also know he'll only just be turning 3!  I desperately need for him to be able to tell me that he is safe!  I wake up some nights sweating thinking how can I put my little man into a situation when he can't tell me if someone is hurting him or not!  I'm sure a lot of mom's feel that way so it's been my mission over the last few months to make sure he can tell me if he is hurt or if he has a boo boo!

We're almost there!  We spend last Friday night in the ER because he pulled a super man stunt and almost broke his head open!  He was able to tell me he had a boo boo but he kept holding the wrong place : O!
His little senses told him he was hurt but they couldn't distinguish where it was. : (

I'm happy because I haven't had more than an hour without him since he was born!   I love him dearly but he can be SO overwhelming at times.  I haven't been able to get anyone to agree to watch him.  He is just too much to handle for most of my family and friends.  My chest has been in a constant state of angst and pain since he was born from stress.  I feel like a thick glass that is ready to shatter sometimes. 

I was able to take a long power walk the other night and it felt so good to just walk off some frustration.  Its hard because if I need to do something, my husband will watch him, but in twenty minutes he's completely overwhelmed with Lucas and I need to jump back in and take over.   It's really hard to do something for myself without that overwhelming guilt that I'm doing something wrong!  I'm hoping once he starts school things will start to settle down a bit.

We'll I'm off, wish us luck!  I'll keep you posted on how it went.

Have a great day everyone!
Debbie

I know school just let out but I'm in the process of getting Lucas signed up to start pre-school in January!
All of the paperwork has been completed and will be handed in tomorrow for review to determine what special classes he will attend.  A meeting will be held tomorrow at my home with one of the teachers/counselors and next month with the school!

I'll be crying on your shoulders for the next few months until I can handle this huge thing myself! I know he needs it but he's still my little baby!