Friday, May 6, 2011


OK, I have to ask because I was so upset yesterday I was almost in tears!   I can be sensitive but in this case I feel justified in being upset but want your opinion!  After reading this please tell me,  am I over reacting or do you think I have a right to be upset? 

I can't imagine why I might be moody and emotional at times!  No sleep, non stop running with two kids, trying to keep this blog up which is more than a full time job it seems! Taking care of our home, and caring for Lucas 24 hours a day is a job in itself!  Any special needs parent knows that!

Lucas as you know goes to pre-school!   EVERYTHING that happens with him is written in this composition book that comes home everyday.  Whether he took a nap, had a good day in his therapies, etc.  Anything that is going on in the class goes into this book!

He was on Easter break and then missed a week of school right after because of this rash he had all over him.  The doctors, allergist, etc was trying to figure out what was causing it but kept him home to be on the safe side!

He went back this week and everything seemed alright.  He was a little thrown off because of being out for a few days but that's to be expected.  Needless to say it's been stressful taking him to school everyday this week because he has been completely melting down in the mornings when we drop him off.

I went to pick him up from school yesterday.  All of the parents were walking out of his classroom with their kids??!!   

One of the parents yelled:

"Oh you didn't show up!"

"Show up for what?", I asked.  

They had a special Mother's Day tea today, it's a shame you missed it, it was so adorable!!!!!!  


I stood there literally in shock!!! I was seriously fighting back tears!!  Anger, confusion, sadness.  I think I felt every emotion a person could feel when she said this.

NOT ONE WORD was spoken to me about this!  I heard nothing, received nothing, knew NOTHING of this event!   My heart was in my stomach!!  All I could think of, as the tears welled up in my eyes, was my little baby was the only kid in his class who didn't have his Mommy there!  

I have NEVER missed anything at school for my children!   NEVER!!! 

At this point I still didn't know what they did in the class so I was trying to stay calm!

He's three!!!  Every miles stone that he makes is a HUGE deal to me.  They are completely aware that I am an active, caring Mom who cares about every step this boy makes!  I want to be active in every aspect of his recovery!

When I saw the aid yesterday I asked, "Was there a huge Mother's Day event today?"

All smiles, she said,  "Yes!"

I never had to control my anger more than at this moment in my life!!!  

I told her that it would have been nice to have been told about this!!!   "My baby was there and the only kid without his Mommy with him!",  then the aid said

"I was his Mommy Today for him!!"  WHAT!!!!!  OMG!!!!   

I know she was trying to be nice, and I feel bad that I melted down like hot butter in front of her,  but I don't need a fill in Mommy for my son.  I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for Lucas to get done school, with my older son while this was going on!  

HAD I KNOWN something was going on in his class I would have been IN there.  

WHY in Gods name, when you tell me about everything else that goes on, would you NOT put this in the book to let me know about this?  

As we we were walking out she hands me a program of the event!  A PROGRAM????!!!!!!!    Are you kidding me?!!! 

It was that big that they needed a program and I wasn't there!!!!!!   Salt right into the wound!!!

They had a huge, long list of songs that they sang to their Mommies!!  I'm tearing up just thinking about it!!! This is such a BIG deal for me!  To see where Lucas was and to see him now, seeing him sing songs to me would have totally made my Mother's Day!!!!

I worked with him EVERY DAY before he went to school   I get that they think its all them, but some of his progress was from my hard work with him on a daily basis,  and I would have loved to have seen him yesterday!!!

I am just heartbroken that I missed this!

I get that the teachers are busy, I get that mistakes happen.  This notice probably went out the week before when he was out which is why I didn't get it,  but they would write or call about everything else why wouldn't someone question it if they saw I wasn't there for him?!!!  They know how involved I am?!  I had my phone, they could have called, I was sitting right in the parking lot while this was all happening, had someone just thought to call I would have walked right in and missed NOTHING! 

So now you can tell me,  am I being too sensitive or would Mother's Day be a little tainted for you too?


Mrs Gloves Says :
May 6, 2011 at 10:02 AM

You are not being too sensitive. I would have broken down and bawled my eyes out. That is just wrong!

missykade Says :
May 6, 2011 at 10:17 AM

Thanks Mrs Gloves! I did break down in my car, and then at home when I told my husband. My 11 year old was even upset. He gets how important his little brother's mile stones are! I need to hear it from someone outside of the situation to see if I was justified in being so upset. I have to go in next week for flex week and I just can't vision myself being in there right now :(

Julie Says :
May 6, 2011 at 10:55 AM

Oh hell no - you are totally justified. I would have been a mess too. {{{hugs}}}

WeeMasonMan's Mom Says :
May 6, 2011 at 4:17 PM

I'm tearing up just thinking about how I would have felt in your shoes. That really sucks, I'm so sorry!!

Mitzi's Southern Charm Says :
May 6, 2011 at 4:19 PM

New follower had me at Sensory Processing Disorder. My only grandson has I can understand everything you are going through, etc. About are not being too sensitive! Absolutely not! My jaw dropped open when I read the part where the Aide told you "I was his mommy today". That would have sent my head whirling in a multitude of directions....(((HUGS))) & HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to a well deserved mom.

Gavin Bollard Says :
May 6, 2011 at 5:57 PM

You're not being too sensitive, Dad's feel that way too when we're left out of events.

Sadly though, this is only the beginning of your troubles. It gets much, much worse. My boys rarely say anything about school and even though they both have diaries, nothing is written down.

We miss major events, requirements for presentations, mufty days etc all the time simply because the teachers TELL the kids instead of writing in their diaries.

Often they're given handouts about the event but unless you specifically go through their bags, you'll miss it. Since nobody looks in those bags on weekends until Monday morning, we often miss a lot that was should have bought/done over the weekend.

K Says :
May 6, 2011 at 7:06 PM

You poor thing! I think you had every right to be upset! As for the aide's thoughtless comment, how harsh! My sympathies, hun.

Elle Says :
May 6, 2011 at 8:49 PM

And you need to make danged sure they know better than do that again too.

Janice Says :
May 6, 2011 at 8:51 PM

I would have felt the same as you. When my hubby returned from Iraq they got in over an hour early and nobody warned the families (ignoring phone tree rules). So about 1/2 of us missed them disembarking the plane, the final formation, the ceremonial stuff etc. Plus my husband had to stand there waiting for me for about 30 minutes. It was awful! I can totally relate to your feelings.
On the bright side, he has a lifetime of milestones ahead of him and you will be there for them all. <3

Celebrating Family

missykade Says :
May 7, 2011 at 12:40 AM

Thank you so much everyone! I feel like having Lucas has made me such a stronger person in some ways but so much more emotional and weak in others.

I love his school, and teachers! They are wonderful people and I know that they are always looking out for his best interest but just felt like the ball was dropped in this situation.

She wrote me today apologizing for the mix up but it doesn't take back that I missed it.

I know it was a mistake. They are good people. I just wish it wasn't with me and missing Lucas at the Mother's Day tea. :(

Gavin, I'm sorry you've had to feel this way so often! I'm going to make it a point to try and include my husband in more now that I know how you feel!

Have a wonderful Mother's Day everyone! My husband felt so bad he went out and got me a cheesecake! YAY!!! Says :
May 7, 2011 at 6:15 AM

You did not overreact - it is the school's job to catch you up on what was missed including invites to events! I hope you get some special time with each of your kids this weekend :)

Mommylebron Says :
May 7, 2011 at 10:43 AM

Oh, my heart broke reading this! I cried for you, I don't think you've overreacted at all. I'm so sorry you missed this.

Laurie Says :
May 7, 2011 at 7:53 PM

As a teacher myself I can not understand this!! I have 19 kids in my class and I have 19 copies of everything that goes home. When a child is absent I write the child's name on the paper and it is sent home with them when they return to school. My heart is breaking just thinking about how you must feel and as a teacher I know that I would have tried to call any parent that I know is usually involved and may have missed a memo or something. I would definitely ask the teacher about this and let her know how much this hurt you. Happy Mother's Day to you - God sees everything that you do and how hard you work!! I hope you feel loved, honored and blessed this weekend!!

Stacey,momof 2 Says :
May 7, 2011 at 9:05 PM

I have tears in my eyes ... I hope the cheesecake made a bit of the yucky feelings go away. They (the school teachers)dropped the ball.

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