Thursday, April 26, 2012
My God, if you told me 10 years ago that SKIN Cancer could be so mean and powerful I would have laughed!! I cringe at the thought of spending days in the tanning salon and putting iodine and oil on my body to get a tan!
Obviously, things have been pretty crazy since the last time I was able to post was in January. My hero of a husband has fought his behind off to keep this cancer at bay and every time he takes a step forward, it kicks him fifty steps behind.
I feel completely blessed that he is still here with us since they told us in October he wouldn't make it through the night when he first went in. Since then he's had eight bronchoscopies to remove tumors from his lung so that it wouldn't collapse or suffocate him.
About a month ago we went in for treatment only to find that the cancer had formed two tumors in his head. One in his brain and an inoperable one in his eye. He had brain surgery two days after they found them to remove the one from his brain and massive radiation treatment on his head in hopes to keep the cancer in his eye from spreading.
Chuck was nominated, by the hospital, to a foundation called, For Pete's Sake. They send families on respites to get a break from Cancer. They chose him and the trip was canceled because of how sick he got last month. Another blow from this horrid Cancer!
To make matters worse, during this time, I had gone in for a routine mammogram and was called back because they found two suspicious lumps, one on each side!!! We were devastated to say the least!! We were certain that God would not give two parents, with no one to care for their kids, cancer!!! The second round of tests showed no cancer in the breast but some inconsistencies elsewhere so I've been going to specialists to figure out what the problem is during all of this mess with my husband. I can seriously say that I am on the thinnest shred of thread, that I have ever been on emotionally, in my life. I usually don't ask for prayers for myself but in this situation will take any that are offered!
We have been in and out of the University of Penn on almost a daily basis for treatments, procedures, tests, or visits. I have to say that I don't think we could have found a better group of doctors to care for Chuck. I instantly start tearing up when I see how excited they seem to see him and how wonderful they treat him! They really make him feel like he's the most important person in the world to them. The amazing thing is, they make ALL of their patients feel that way. It's just an amazing hospital and anyone fortunate enough to be treated there is a very lucky person.
Making sure Chuck and I get to our appointments and, taking care of and getting our children where they have to go, working, and trying to keep our lives as normal as possible for our kids has been the most difficult thing to keep together all while trying to keep things as normal as possible for them!
HE ALWAYS WAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE......
|MY HERO and our Children!!|
My husband, Chuck, makes me so damn proud!!!!
I've never seen more determination and fight in any person in my life!
He is and always will be, MY HERO!!
I have cried so much over the last few months and felt so many different emotions I'm surprised I can still function! I honestly don't know if I would have that kind of strength in me to fight as hard as he is and that scares that crap out of me!! I've watched him bring other people up when they show that they are sad that this cancer has taken over his entire body and just sit in awe at how his faith is SO strong that he can do that!
As it stands today, and I say today because it could change tomorrow, Chuck has Melanoma cancer that has pretty much metastasized through his entire body. The doctors have been very up front and honest with us from the beginning about his prognosis but we have all stayed steadfast in the our belief that miracles can happen.
When you have two little children you can't do anything else but believe that a miracle can happen to continue getting up out of bed each day. When I look at them my heart fills with sadness, my eyes fill with tears, and my emotions fill with anger at the thought of how my children are going to get through this if they lose their Daddy if this cancer gets the best of Chuck.
The trip from, For Pete's Sake was given back to him because he recovered so well from the brain surgery. It will be at a closer place in case Chuck has to go back into the hospital right away. This is supposed to take place in May but you can't plan anything with this cancer!
I put a donation button on the side bar of the site and in this post in case anyone wanted to help with the cost of his treatments, tolls, gas, co-pays, etc. My church has been so wonderful with helping us for the last few months. My boss could not be more understanding and our friends have been an amazing strength for us.
It amazes me how good people really are in the world when things like this happen. I am in shock to see the out pour of people who have extended their desire to help in any way that they could in this horrific time in our lives to try and ease the burden a bit for us. Thank you, words will not ever read what our heart feels from your support and love for our family. Thank you all for your continued prayers!